July 30, 2021

Watch the trailer for House of Gucci and say mwah to a legendary fashion scandal

Another Trailer of the Week: because when Gucci and Gaga say “jump”, we say “how high”?

What is it?

The first trailer for fashion’s greatest blockbuster screen outing ~~since Netflix’s~~ ~~Halston~~ ever. Logline: “House of Gucci is inspired by the shocking true story of the family empire behind the Italian fashion house of Gucci. Spanning three decades of love, betrayal, decadence, revenge, and ultimately murder, we see what a name means, what it’s worth, and how far a family will go for control.”

Who’s who and what’s what?

Lady Gaga and her spot-on Italian accent (lest we forget, she was born Stefani Germanotta) play Patrizia Reggiani. She served 18 years in prison for ordering the 1995 murder of her ex-husband Maurizio Gucci, grandson of the fashion house’s founder Guccio Gucci. Maurizio is played by Adam Driver and his ’90s blow-dry hair (lest we forget, he also had great hair as Star Wars’ Kylo Ren). “Father, son and the House of Gucci,” intones the not-so-saintly Patrizia, deliciously.

Loving it so far. Any more frow-worthy talent?

Si. Al Pacino, the greatest living Italian-American actor (De Niro’s lost it: discuss), is family patriarch Adolfo Gucci. And it’s directed by Ridley Scott, whose last film was All the Money in the World, another based-on-fact film about a rich family dynasty (the Gettys) being horrid to each other. So, perfect casting everywhere. You might say it’s all Gucci.

Is it though?

Weellll… Jared Leto, one hundred kilos of latex, a fat suit and a bald wig play Paolo Gucci, another grandson of Guccio and cousin of Maurizio. While the actor’s drastic transformation into a trans woman in Dallas Buyers Club won him an Oscar, this transformation is possibly less credible. Just like his shift into being a rock star in his band Thirty Seconds To Mars.

Is Gaga ready for her close-up?

Si, certo! She plays another character for whom “shallow” could be her theme. “Gucci needs new blood. It’s time to take out the trash,” she says, sounding like a proper Bond villainess. Ominous, right?