Shakira Attacked By Wild Boars

The ongoing feral hog problem has now come to affect one of our biggest international pop stars. In a recent post on her Instagram story, Shakira says that she was recently attacked by two wild boars while walking in a Barcelona park with her eight-year-old son.

In a series of videos posted on Instagram yesterday, Shakira tells the story of how these two durn animals messed up her purse. The video is in Spanish, but BBC News has a helpful translation: “Look at how two wild boars, which attacked me in the park, have left my bag. They were taking my bag to the woods, with my mobile phone in it. They’ve destroyed everything. Milan, tell the truth. Say how your mommy stood up to the wild boar.”

The bag definitely looks dirty, and Shakira’s dog appears very interested in it. Shakira’s son, on the other hand, does not seem to care one bit about what just happened. Here’s the video, which has been helpfully archived on YouTube, presumably with scary music and boar images added in:

No fighting! The BBC News story about Shakira’s boar attack has some helpful context about Barcelona’s boar problem, which is apparently a thing. Some highlights:

In 2016, Spanish police received 1,187 phone calls about wild hogs attacking dogs, plundering cat-feeders, holding up traffic, and running into cars in the city.

In 2013, one city police officer attempted to take charge of the problem himself and shot at a boar with his service revolver, but missed and hit his partner instead.

Shakira’s hips don’t lie, so we’re going to have to assume that this whole story is God’s honest truth. These boars clearly don’t have much survival instinct; they should’ve sensed that Shakira is a she-wolf in disguise.